Contrary to popular belief, St. Paul was a strong advocate of the institution of marriage. While he himself had the gift of singleness, and chose to remain single to do God’s work, he acknowledged in his writings that not everyone was similarly gifted. 

Seeking God for a Mate
This process consists of four steps: 1) Seek to know God for who He really is, 2) Seek to obey Him in your day to day life, 3) Seek to understand and appreciate men for who God made them to be (especially to see the differences between women and men), and finally, 4) Seek to embrace a woman’s biblical role and responsibility in a marriage relationship. (By this I mean, respect a man’s role to lead and head a family and accept a woman’s role to follow that leadership and help that man in every aspect of his life.)

Strive to Exhibit the Character of Christ-- Fear and loathing of the opposite sex sets in after years of heartbreak and disappointment. Ask God to give you a new heart and mind. Pray for an ability to love men, and a heart to be a helper to a man the way God designed you to be. The enemy is in the business of distorting the character of Christ in us, and we need to resist his efforts to do so. We need to move toward being Faithful and Loving and away from being Fearful and Loathing!

Learn How to Love Men-- Study the Biblical definition of Love 1Corinthians 13. Write it out, replace the word love with your name. How can you better demonstrate Godly love in your relationships? Let down the wall of self-protection and mistrust. You built it, only you can tear it down.

Find Intercessors-- Ask your family and friends to pray for you and your future marriage. Remember the story of Isaac and Rebecca. The father and his servant were both praying and looking to God as they sought a bride for Isaac.

Ask for Wisdom and Discernment-- Learn to walk by faith and not by sight when it comes to finding a mate. Study how to hear the voice of God, how he leads us in decision making. We look at the exterior of a man, God looks at the heart. Start looking at the heart of a man, not at his external features. The character of a man is his true value.

Partner in Prayer-- Pray with a like-minded Christian for your relationship lives and your future husband. This is called Prayer Partnering. When two or more are gathered together, He is in their midst and hears and answers their prayers! Ask God to deliver you from the Evil One. Ask Him to remove bondages, hindrances, curses, and generational sins. Satan hates marriage, and comes against it with his full arsenal. But God is more powerful and you have the authority to stop Satan’s mission against your marriage. The Authority of the Believer!

Become a Member of a Prayer Team-- Surround yourself with uplifting, positive, "permission giving" influences. Join a small group that studies the Word and Prays together. The Word says, "Confess your sins to one another, that you may be healed." Some healing requires confession before a group. Other healing will come only through fasting and prayer. Some of my most important breakthroughs came after a day of fasting.

Begin the Discipline of Scripture Reading-- Seek to know God, to understand his character and His ways. Pray for Him to give you wisdom, discernment. Pray for God to illumine your path. He will do this as you read scripture. Put together an aggressive schedule of daily Bible reading. Before you read, pray and ask God to handle the issues and conflicts that you would normally seek human counsel for. I read asking God to show me who He was, how to love, how to forgive, how to heal, etc. The One True God is the only one who knows you intimately, even better than you know yourself. Seek His counsel rather than the counsel of man.

Put Form Back in Courtship-- Man should be the initiator, woman the responder. Avoid the temptation to pursue a man or call him. It is the man’s prerogative to initiate dating and courtship, not the woman’s. Don’t accept a date for Saturday after Tuesday. Expect men to respect you and to show courtesy and deference by opening doors, getting your coat, always picking up the tab. Only date those you think will be a good mate. Don’t make idle promises or false representations, always be truthful and kind. Make a man prove his intentions over a period of time. Never assume anything about the future. Refrain from sexualizing the friendship. Save sex for your future husband. Don’t bring up marriage until he does, etc.

Start a Daily Diary-- Journal your thought process. Writing is healing. I wrote Letters to God, which helped me pour out the frustration, grief and joys along my path. First thing in the morning is a good time to do this.

Set Aside Private Time for Prayer and Seeking God-- and Seeking God-- Pray on your knees daily, both morning and night. Humble yourself before the Lord. Seek his will for your relationship life and your future husband. Bathe every current relationship in prayer. Ask God to reveal whether or not this person is the one He has chosen for you. Expect to hear from God! Pray through all painful, past relationships. Turn them over to God, repent of any sin, and ask for inner healing of all those wounds.

Count on God In Spite of Your Circumstances-- Faith is believing in something we can’t yet see. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. He is our Provider of all our basic needs and desires. Certainly marriage is one of the basics. Study Genesis account of the first marriage and what God says about it not being good for the man to be alone, and the need for a man to have a helper.

Become a Master of Forgiveness-- Forgive all those who have hurt you along life’s path. Forgiveness is the key to learning how to love. Christ’s love for mankind was principally expressed through his mercy and forgiveness. As we extend the same to our family and friends, God is equipping us to be a Godly wife. We will be able to love our husbands in the same way Christ loves us.

Prepare Yourself for Marriage-- Happily married people know something single people don’t know. They have learned how to get married and stay married. Be a good student. Study marriage and courtship books and biographies of happily married Christians. I found many good books in church libraries. Let God change your mind about men, marriage. Study Proverbs and Psalms—Psalms is the most healing book of the Bible, Proverbs teaches the most about wisdom.

Ask God to Bring You a Good Husband-- Above all, ask God to arrange a marriage for you! We need not shy away from asking for our needs to be met by a Father who loves us! Pray for your future husband and his family every day.

St. Paul on Marriage
Contrary to popular belief, St. Paul was a strong advocate of the institution of marriage. While he himself had the gift of singleness, and chose to remain single to do God’s work, he acknowledged in his writings that not everyone was similarly gifted.
St. Paul’s most important instructions on the subject of marriage.

1Corinthians 7:2—Because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

 Ephesians 5:22-33—Wives be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of his own body. for this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and his church. Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.

 1Timothy 4:1-5—But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, by means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron, men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods, which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth. For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected, if it is received with gratitude; for it is sanctified by means of the word of God and prayer.

1 Timothy 5:14—Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach; for some have already turned aside to follow Satan.

Hebrews 13:4—Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Qualities & Character in a mate By Solomon

Honest and Fair in His Dealings
A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight. Proverbs 11:1

A Companion of Wise Men
He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Prov. 13:20

A Good Decision Maker
The naive believes everything, but the prudent man considers his steps. A wise man is cautious and turns from evil, but a fool is arrogant and careless. Prov. 14:15-16

Not Argumentative
Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it than a house full of feasting and strife. Prov 17:1

A Responsible Worker
He also who is slack in his work is brother to him who destroys. Prov. 18:9

Honest
A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who tells lies will perish. Prov. 19:9

Slow to Anger
A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression. Prov. 19:11

Charitable to the Poor
He who is gracious to a poor man lends to the Lord, and He will repay him for his good deed. Prov. 19:17

Kind and Truthful
What is desirable in a man is his kindness, and it is better to be a poor man than a liar. Prov. 19:22

Temperate and Sober
Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is intoxicated by it is not wise. Prov 20:1

Known for His Good Deeds
It is by his deeds that a lad distinguishes himself--if his conduct is pure and right. Prov. 20:11

Respectful of Authority/Honoring to Parents
He who curses his father or his mother, his lamp will go out in time of darkness. Prov. 20:20

Loyal, Faithful and Righteous
Loyalty and truth preserve the king, and he upholds his throne by righteousness. Prov. 20:28

In Control of His Tongue
He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles. -Prov 21:23

Respected by Others
A good name is to be more desired than great riches. Prov. 22:1